What Prayer Is
Prayer as a living relationship with God: its five forms, its three expressions, what to do with distraction and dryness, and how to begin.
Awaiting review A priest has not yet reviewed this article. Read it alongside the Catechism paragraphs it cites, and take questions to your parish.
The Catechism opens its section on prayer not with a technique but with a relationship. Prayer, it says, is the living and personal bond between us and the living and true God (CCC 2558). It is less like a task to complete than like a friendship to keep up. And it begins with God: before we look for him, he is already looking for us. St Augustine said that prayer is where God's thirst for us meets our thirst for him (CCC 2560).
Prayer is a relationship
An old definition, from St John Damascene, calls prayer the raising of the mind and heart to God (CCC 2559). Notice the word "heart". In the Bible the heart is not just the seat of feelings but the deepest centre of a person, where we decide who we are (CCC 2563). Prayer comes from there, or it does not really come at all.
Christian prayer is also a covenant relationship: God binds himself to us in Christ, and we answer (CCC 2564). That is why Christians pray as sons and daughters, in the Holy Spirit, through Jesus, to the Father. You do not need to be good at it. You need to turn up, humbly, the way a child comes to a parent (CCC 2559).
The forms of prayer
The Church recognises five basic forms of prayer, all found in Scripture and in the liturgy (CCC 2626–2643).
- Blessing and adoration. Blessing is our response to God's gifts: he blesses us, and we bless him in return. Adoration is the creature's first attitude before the Creator, acknowledging that God is God and we are not (CCC 2626–2628).
- Petition. Asking God for what we need. The first thing to ask for is forgiveness; then for the coming of his Kingdom, and for every real need besides (CCC 2629–2633).
- Intercession. Asking on behalf of someone else. Christians are invited to pray for everyone, even their enemies (CCC 2634–2636).
- Thanksgiving. Every event and every need can become an occasion for thanks (CCC 2637–2638; cf. 1 Thessalonians 5:18).
- Praise. Praising God simply because he is, not for what he gives. Praise is the form of prayer that most plainly recognises that God is God (CCC 2639–2643).
A good habit is to let all five appear in your prayer over a week, or even in a single day. Most of us drift towards petition; praise and thanksgiving keep it from becoming a shopping list.
Three ways of praying
The Catechism also describes three expressions of prayer (CCC 2700–2724).
Vocal prayer uses words, spoken or silent: the Our Father, the Psalms, a prayer before meals. It suits us because we are body as well as soul, and words help the heart follow. The point is not to rattle words off but to mean them (CCC 2700–2704).
Meditation is prayerful thinking: taking a passage of Scripture, an image, or a mystery of Christ's life and turning it over, so that it moves us to conversion. It uses thought, imagination, emotion and desire. Lectio divina and the Rosary are two classic ways of meditating (CCC 2705–2708).
Contemplation is quieter still: a simple, loving gaze on God. St Teresa of Avila described it as an intimate sharing between friends, and the Catechism recalls a peasant of Ars who explained his long hours before the tabernacle this way: "I look at him and he looks at me" (CCC 2709, 2715). Contemplation is a gift; we cannot force it, but we can make room for it.
When prayer is hard
Everyone who prays meets two difficulties.
Distraction. Your mind wanders to the shopping, the argument, the email. The Catechism's advice is gentle: do not chase every distraction, which only feeds it. Simply notice it and turn back to God. A distraction can even show us what our heart is attached to, which is itself something to bring to prayer (CCC 2729).
Dryness. Sometimes prayer feels empty: no consolation, no sense that God is there. This is not a sign that you are doing it wrong. It is part of contemplative prayer, a time of holding on to God in faith when feeling has gone (CCC 2731). Keep praying. Faithfulness in dry prayer is often where faith grows strongest. What the Catechism warns against is not dryness but giving up, or a creeping spiritual sloth (CCC 2732–2733).
How to begin
Start small and concrete.
- Choose a time and place. Five or ten minutes, the same time each day, somewhere quiet enough. Morning before the phone, or the last minutes before sleep.
- Begin by remembering God is present. Make the Sign of the Cross and pause.
- Pray one vocal prayer slowly. The Our Father is ideal.
- Talk to God plainly. Thank him for one thing; ask him for one thing; pray for one person.
- Then be quiet. A minute of silence, listening.
When that becomes a habit, add a short Gospel passage, or try the Examen in the evening. St Paul asks us to "pray constantly" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and the Church's way to do that is to pray at set times, so that the habit spreads into the rest of the day (CCC 2697–2698, 2742–2745).
Going deeper
- The Our Father: the prayer Jesus taught, line by line.
- Lectio divina: a simple way to pray with Scripture.
- The Rosary: meditation on the life of Christ with Mary.
- In the Catechism: CCC 2558–2565 on what prayer is, and CCC 2725–2745 on the battle of prayer.